Cafe Thulp

Not so long ago, somewhere in the middle of a texan desert, a redneck had an idea of food and he went wild searching for an apt response. So after some mindless action, heavy duty glycerin-induced emotions & disjointed scenes that carried forward without a thought to linearity of narrative, he had someone invent the hamburger! And boy, the redneck was happy! So he went ahead and bought a bigger gun. All rednecks do that. It's their way of celebrating!

But then an imbecile named Donald combined it all with the veneer and commercially homogenized atmosphere of a shitty restaurant to come up with what we all know today as Mc D. That he put a lid on the actual thing and churned out few impostors is very evident. At least that's the case in India. So finding the true bastion of a burger was taken up by The Hoggers and it ended at Cafe Thulp. Fin & Pat would be considered illegal in all sates of the US of A, as they are vegans. So they did not risk being shot by some redneck. Sam was too busy with his project. Last heard he'd researched to find 2 facts about ducks & both of them were wrong.

The place passes off as a shady outlet drenched red by some moron who had no idea what a paint job was. To be precise it appears as a veritable hell-hole of an eatery. But having seen far flung cases, they devoured the menu. Their qualms were put to rest at the very sight of the real deal! Moos your Daddy? Before you think the writer has gutted on his English skills, please note that it's the name they've given to the most sensitized item on that list. That's what they were they for. The real burger. And the real burger is pure beef with cheese, lettuce, pickle & a slice of tomato. Period. Bryan & Bob were calm and solemn in their choice.

Their dubious reputation however managed to stay afloat. So they also ordered a Non-Veg Platter with Teriyaki Sauce. And then it arrived. The calm & solemn broke into a pandemonium so much that they almost created a riot inside the dilapidated building. It reminded them of their undying love towards food & they thanked their wishful selves it hadn't faded into anonymity once the veneer of youth wore off.

Moos Your Daddy

It was a huge pound of pure beef, smooth cheese, lettuce & a dash of bacon to keep things in place. The bite wasn't as luscious a you'd expect but then at times you just do things to satisfy more than hunger. A meal like that brings out the kid in you. So it's about being impulsive, thoughtless, playful & all those countless things of grace. The Non-Veg platter was nothing close to being existent. The Teriyaki sauce was too sweet for Bryan's liking. It invoked the grim frustrations of a failed desire. But then, the reason for visiting Cafe Thulp was indeed the burger and that never disappointed. Agreed it is not a scrumptious meal that you'd lick your fingers.

But it was the real deal nevertheless. After all you can never come out old & wise unless you've been young & crazy. So lets all be 8 year olds and do this. Where's the gwaning pressure to be sensible anyways?

The Pseudo Sophisticated it seems had taken the advice to be an 8 yr old literally. He has wrapped an old school tie around his head & pretends to be the 5th teenage mutant ninja trurtle. And let us confirm that the rumours of him having a heart attack are just bogus. His heart isn't that foolish to attack him!

Venue - 1st Main Rd, Koramangala 1st Block, Koramangala

Recommended – Moos Your Daddy?

Music – Effortless concoctions of a stupid blender

Variety - **

Quality - ***

Value for money - ***

Ambience - **

Service - **